The Price That Pays
by Fallain
Summary: Alec knew what spinal injury meant, he just never thought he'd be in the position.  Can Max help him cope after his life as he knows it has been shattered?
1. Shutting Down

The Price That Pays

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Dark Angel; I just like to borrow its characters for playtime. If you don't recognize a character's name, they are most likely my own creation. Such as Dodge, Peace, Sonic, Krieg, Gekk and Liam.

Warnings: blood, language, angst, sexual situations/thoughts, eventual Max/Alec

Notes: This is not a sequel to either of my other Dark Angel fics. I wanted to try out a different pace and plot.

Chapter 1: Shutting Down

To say Logan was furious was an understatement. Logan was livid with rage. Livid with rage... Hm... Max pondered over that phrase for a second while she stared out the dark window in her office, watching the rain splatter against it and dribble down, causing watery streaks.

Logan knew her and Alec's relationship was fake. All he needed to do was sober up and get his head straight and it was obvious. But the words had already been thrown and the lies spun. Max and Alec were always at each other's throats and harassing each other. They could barely work in the same room much less spend time outside the Command Center of Terminal City together willingly or lovingly.

But in his distress when he had seen Alec outside of Max's apartment that night, he'd assumed the only thing he could think of at the moment as he drank himself into a stupor. That Max would never leave him unless she'd been stolen from him by a superior specimen. He'd always seen Alec as a threat, especially after his ordeal with Zach that proved transgenics were far better than any ordinary human could ever be. He was always worried Max would realize this for herself and go off with one of her own kind. So when he saw them smiling together, seeming so carefree, and he was oblivious to what tragic pasts had been revealed behind those closed doors, he'd jumped to the conclusion he'd been dreading ever since Alec first waltzed into their lives.

After months of quietly waiting for Max to admit the hoax to him he'd apparently had enough waiting and confronted her himself, ignoring Alec's deer-in-headlights look in his emerald eyes as he excused himself from the room and left Logan and Max alone to debate their broken love life.

When he told her the gig was up he'd expected her to smile. To admit that she knew he was too smart to have thought they were serious and fall back into his waiting arms. Except not literally because that would kill him. He'd been expecting her to tell him she'd secretly been searching for the cure all this time and missed him and loved him.

He had not been expecting her to admit that while she wasn't really with Alec, she still didn't want to be with him.

Max let her forehead fall against the cool glass. She should probably get a broom and sweep up the mess that Logan had made when he'd punched the shaky bookcase out of anger and caused one of the shelves to collapse. Unfortunately it was the shelf with the snow globe of the Space Needle and the small glass ball had shattered sending stale water and small flecks of fake snow all over the worn carpet in her office.

It was a shame. Not about Logan. About that snow globe. She had liked it. It reminded her of a better time when she was still free to visit her special high place whenever she needed to think and be alone. Now, although Terminal City was free of the oppressing guards, commands, and inhumane rules that Manticore had, it had still turned into a prison. If she or any other transgenic or transhuman stepped outside the safety of the wired fence, they'd most likely be lynched like poor Biggs had.

That's why Dix and Fixit worked so hard to keep the security cameras running at all angles to make sure there weren't any breaks in the perimeter that would risk the safety of the citizens inside. She and Alec were currently working with Mole and a few outside sources in trying to legally obtain food and medical equipment while several other transgenics and transhumans were trying to map out ways to illegally get what they needed if their leaders failed.

She sighed. Alec should have been back by now. He was probably taking advantage of her and Logan's official break-up to take a break of his own from work.

"Stupid lazy slacker" She muttered to the empty room and the dark city outside.

She could have lied to Logan and told him he was wrong, that her and Alec were seriously together wither he believed it or not but she just had too much on her plate to keep up the charade. Besides that fact, that it wasn't fair to keep stringing Alec along like this. He had been a good friend and went along with the act thus far, but she knew it was only a matter of time until he wanted some real action and spilled the beans himself so he could go frolic off with some other transgenic female. She'd seen him looking at Dodge, an X6 female that had an odd habit of wearing wigs so that her hair was different every day. She probably appealed to him because of that fact that she never looked like the same girl so she'd be able to keep him entertained for longer.

She didn't know why, but the idea of Alec with other girls bothered her for some reason. She'd never had a problem with it before; it was probably just from the mindset of having to pretend they were dating. Back before they started this act, it bothered her a little, but mostly because it was getting him into trouble. Trouble that she'd have to get him out of.

Even though they'd been pretend-dating for several months now, they'd never once kissed. When Logan would come around Max would shoot Alec glares or elbow him in the ribs until he put his arm around her shoulders, or sometimes press his lips against the crook of her neck and shoulder, but that was about as far as they ever went.

One time he had fallen asleep next to her at his desk and she had found herself running her fingers over his hand. But she convinced herself that it was only because she was forgetting what the feel of skin on skin felt like.

But now he was free to be with whomever he wanted to be with. And she was free...to be alone. She tried to think optimistic, that she could be with anyone she wanted to be with also. But she couldn't think of anyone she wanted to even hold hands with much less kiss. Except for Alec. But that was only because they'd already held hands once. Right? Right.

Besides, she was the Commanding Officer of Terminal City. She couldn't let things like petty relationship drama interfere with her work keeping her citizens safe, fed, housed, and clothed. It was a large responsibility that didn't leave room for anything- or anyone- else.

She heard the hinges on the door creak open and a low whistle.

"What happened to the bookcase Maxie?"

"Broke." Max replied in a clipped voice without looking at him. "Careful. There's glass."

"So I see..." There was a sound of glass being swept aside and a few thuds of books hitting the ground as Alec lifted the broken shelf and examined it, crouching on the floor.

Max finally turned to face him. "Logan knows."

"Knows? Like knows knows? About the truth between you and me?"

She nodded and crossed the room to help him pick up a few books.

"I don't think he'll be coming back."

Alec snorted. "Logan? Mr. Knight-in-blindingly-shining-armor? The most stubborn sonovabitch on Earth? He'll be back. Just give him time."

Max didn't know if his words were meant to be comforting or a threat. She wasn't sure if she wanted Logan to come back. What had once been mistaken for love for the ordinary had turned out to be only fleeting passion that passed over the year that they couldn't touch each other. She'd moved on and she couldn't go back to the way things were even if they found the cure. She just wished Logan would do the same and make this easier for the both of them.

She didn't quite understand why he was being so persistent anyways. They really hadn't ever 'been like that'. They didn't have anything for him to really be fighting for so she didn't understand why he was fighting so hard. She was just so tired of all the unnecessary fighting. Every day. Physical fights. Emotional battles. She was just so tired of it all.

Her hand slipped by a shard of glass and she was momentarily stunned at the blossoming red liquid on her finger. Huh. She was bleeding. Weren't cuts supposed to hurt? Was she to the point where her mind was so exhausted it wasn't even registering the injury or was her transgenic body becoming more and more immune to pain as the days passed by?

"Need me to get you a towel or something?"

She looked up startled, before remembering Alec was in the room. His green eyes held questions and concerns and one eyebrow was lifted as he stared at her hand dripping blood onto the carpet.

"It's not that bad." She muttered as she stood up and crossed back over to her desk. "I need to finish these papers. You can go home if you want." She knew Alec hadn't slept in the past two days and wasn't oblivious to the mass amounts of coffee he had been digesting to keep himself up and running.

Manticore had experimented around with different animal DNA in each of their soldiers to see what worked best on the battlefield. Max had been designed with cat and shark DNA that allowed her to go days without sleep. She knew for a fact that Alec however, had wolf and hawk. Neither of those animals could go days without sleep and she knew the constant trying to keep up with her was wearing him down. She was concerned about his health, but only because she couldn't run Terminal City by herself. Right? Right.

Alec finished stacking the books against the wall and returned to his own side of the room. "Nah, I think I'll keep you company till I finish my own work." He tossed her a grin that didn't seem to meet the usual standards of his trademark 'don't-give-a-shit' smirk. His lips twisted up in the position but his eyes seemed duller than usual.

"No. Seriously. You look like shit. Go to sleep." Max snapped.

Alec mock stumbled and put a hand to his heart. "Max, that hurt. I'm wounded."

"Not yet you aren't." Max narrowed her brown eyes at him and saw his eyes light up at the challenge. Go figure only Alec could be happy when someone was pissed at him. And provoke the Maxie seemed to be his all-time-favorite game.

"You wouldn't hurt me Maxie. You care about me too much." He sat down in his chair and leaned backwards, stretching his arms above his head and Max snorted.

"Oh really? Because I seem to remember kicking your ass back in that cage fight." She lifted an eyebrow at Alec's glare. Normal may have not remembered that night thanks to Mia, but Alec certainly did. And you know what they say, bruise a man's private junk and it bruises his ego for life.

"Max! Alec!" They heard the voice shouting for them down the hall and were up from behind their desks before Fixit even burst through the door, her ginger hair sticking out everywhere as usual and a look of panic on her freckled face.

"Fixit? What's going on?" A million and two things ran through Max's head of what could have possibly gone wrong now.

"Zero, Sonic and Peace were trying to fix the piping in one of the main buildings to get the water running again and it broke! Sonic got out but...Zero and Peace are still trapped inside and it's flooding and damaged the walls...Mole's yelling and going on about it's going to collapse and -"

Max cut her off with a wave of her hand and rushed out the door, Alec close behind her. This was one of the problems she'd been worried about from the start. The buildings were old and damaged; almost uninhabitable which was why she kept trying to keep everyone out of the bigger buildings. She was convinced it was safer to keep everyone spread out in the smaller houses and safer apartments but others seemed to think that they needed to bunch all the citizens close together. And she knew that if she didn't get construction under way or the water situation fixed soon it was only a matter of time before someone toke it into their own hands. And she'd been right. The buildings were dangerous and someone had taken action themselves. All in one night. Tonight of all nights. Perfect. Just perfect.

Alec slid down the railings to the basement level ahead of Max and tried kicking the door in. Against the water pressure inside it or for some other unknown reason, it didn't budge and he jumped back, scanning for a new way in. Max ran back up the stairs and outside, scanning the ground for any basement windows and was rewarded with a gap just big enough for her lithe female body to squeeze through. Alec would be too big to fit with his height and muscles and have to stay behind for this one. She found that she was momentarily relived that he wouldn't be literally diving into danger and shook the thought from her head as she landed in the basement, splashing and letting the water come up over her ankles.

She didn't understand why Alec was always on her mind today. Now that their relationship gig was up she shouldn't be thinking about him at all anymore...

The water was rising slowly and it would be hours, perhaps half a day, before they were at risk of drowning. Even longer considering the fact that they'd be able to stay afloat while the water toke days to fill all the way up to the top.

The only danger they were in was that Mole was right. The wooden support beams groaned against the water rising up their bases and dust scattered from the ceiling as the plaster cracked as the beams shifted. The basement level was in serious danger of collapsing in on them. Wither that meant a few rotted planks of wood falling, or the entire brick foundation crashing down on them, she had no idea and just had to hope that neither happened.

Splashing grew closer as she spotted Zero, one of the escaped X6 transgenics that she and Alec had helped escape to Canada after Manticore blew up. His unit had returned once they heard about Terminal City and the waging war and they had wanted to help in the fight of their kind's freedom but right now she wished he had stayed put.

"Zero!" She snapped. "You remember why I named you Zero?"

"Because you have zero tolerance for me ma'am." He repeated her own words from long ago back to her and lowered his eyes, unable to look at her.

Behind him she spotted Peace, another X6 that Joshua had helped find salvation in the city. She was shorter than the usual transgenic and had reminded Max of Original Cindy in appearance although her wild, curly black hair was tamed back into a small ball of a ponytail.

Max couldn't find herself able to yell at Peace and wondered how exactly the gentle soldier had gotten roped into this mess with these boys.

"Come on, let's find a way out." She pushed her way past Zero, ignoring him and trudged to where the door was with Alec on the other side. "Alec! Can you hear me?"

She heard his muffled reply through the door and although she couldn't hear what he replied with she at least knew he was there as another loud thud and crack emitted from the door as he kicked at it again trying to break it down.

She scanned the room that was only dimly lit with overhead hanging lamps for another exit.

"Did either of you find another possible way out?"

"No Ma'am." Peace responded.

"We would have told you if we had." Was Zero's response and even though he kept a straight soldier mask in place when he said it Max felt a twinge of irritation at his tone. Zero tolerance was right. Some things never change.

"Well how did Sonic get out?" Was her next question as she heard a louder crack from the door behind them.

"He managed to slip out the door before it got stuck." Peace said while she nodded to the persistent door Alec was currently attacking. There was an even louder crack followed directly by another that gave Max the impression that someone else had arrived and was out there helping.

Good. Especially since it looked like breaking down that door was their only way out. The small window she had climbed in through was too high to climb up to. They'd have to wait for the water to rise and then swim up to it. Even then she wasn't sure if Zero would be able to fit and she wasn't willing risking him drowning even if he was a giant pain in her ass.

The door finally cracked, splintering inwards before someone rammed it again, causing it to cave in completely. Through the opening that water rushed out into stood Alec with Mole, Sonic and Liam. Mole held a giant hammer that would have made the Norse God Thor proud in one hand and motioned to them with the other as dust rained down from the ceiling and pieces of plaster fell, splashing heavily into the shallow water.

A giant groan of rotting wood came from the left as she shouted to Peace and Zero to run, to get out of there as quick as they could. At least she felt her mouth moving to form the orders, she couldn't hear herself over the cracking of the plaster overhead and the splashes it made around her as it fell and the cracking, splintering sound that drowned out all other noise as one of the massive support beams gave way, breaking several smaller beams from above and bringing them crashing down as well. She dodged backwards to avoid the giant beam and slipped in the giant puddle that the floor had become. She let out a yelp as she felt a smaller beam smash into her shoulder and dislocate the arm, spending her sprawling in the water.

She looked up in time to see parts of the ceiling falling and a large jagged piece of wood fall from above her. She could see the light from the open door on the other side of the fallen main beam and the last thing she saw was the silhouette of a figure jumping over the wood before something heavy slammed into her and sent her world spiraling into darkness.

00001110101010 DARK ANGEL 001011100101

Max awoke with a gasp, and then coughed, choking on the air. Her hearing was muffled as if she was underwater and she realized as she felt her hair floating around her face that she was. At least partially anyways. Something soft rested under her neck, keeping her nose and mouth above the low water level and she could feel something heavy on her chest, threatening to crush her.

The support beams had been falling; of course, she must be trapped under one of the beams. Wasn't that just perfect. She blinked her chocolate eyes open to see the ceiling mostly in tact although there was a large gaping hole that showed the level above them clearly.

Her senses slowly started returning to her, quicker than a normal human would have after such a hectic event. Her shoulder throbbed in pain as she tried to push herself up onto her elbows but realized she couldn't move under whatever was pinning her. She groaned and went to shove the offending piece of wood off, only to have her hand meet with wet fabric and soft skin underneath.

She jerked up, despite her injury painfully screaming in protest. She couldn't raise more than her shoulders, but she could clearly see why now. Alec lay on top of her. One of his arms had been cradling her neck to keep her head above water and the other was now floating slightly spread out to his side in the shallow water. She didn't understand why he was so heavy though. Either he'd put on more weight with that junk food he ate or she was getting weak. She'd given Brain a piggyback ride up stairs for crying out loud, and now she couldn't lift one guy off of her?

"Don't move! Stop moving!" Now that her ears weren't under water she could recognize Liam's voice, and splashing as he grew closer.

She instantly stopped moving as Liam and Krieg, the albino medic with pointed ears, appeared over her.

Krieg knelt down and put a hand over her forehead. "How're you feeling?"

She blinked. "Shoulder hurts. But fine." Her chocolate eyes darted back to Alec's prone form on top of her that still hadn't moved. It was starting to un-nerve her how still he was. Alec was so lively he never stopped moving. To see him completely motionless was making her heart hammer faster and constrict in her chest.

"Good. We just need you to stay still until Mole and Gekk get back. They're going to get you guys out, ok?" Krieg's red eyes bore into her own willing her to understand and she nodded although she still wasn't sure what was going on. Didn't they already find a way out? Someone just needed to lift Alec off of her and they'd be fine.

Krieg stood back up and she could see in the dim lights that his white lab coat had turned a pinkish color at the bottom. Catching a whiff of the metallic smell, she felt a sinking feeling in her gut as she realized what it was.

Blood.

She looked around and noticed for the first time the reddish tint that swirled around in the water she was laying in. She felt her pulse start to race as she struggled to sit up further to see where the blood was coming from despite Liam and Krieg grabbing her shoulders and trying to force her back down.

She caught sight of why Alec was so heavy and still and realized like- quite literally- a bucket of cold water being dumped on her that it wasn't her Liam and Krieg were worried about. They weren't worried about her moving and aggravating any wounds because they knew she didn't have any. At least not any as serious as Alecs.

Alec was laying on top of her, his head on her chest and if the situation hadn't been so serious she would have smacked him for having his face in her cleavage. He was directly on top of her, being pinned down by a smaller beam that must have fallen from above and then splintered, breaking in half and she could see a dark stain on the back of Alec's tan shirt where one half of the wood disappeared into his back. She arched her back slightly and could feel the sharp tip that came out the other side of his body poke her stomach and had to choke back bile. She couldn't allow herself to vomit right now and add to the messy water she was already laying in.

She allowed Liam and Krieg to lower her back to the ground before she put any more strain on Alec's battered body against the jagged piece of wood impaling him and rested her head in the crook of Liam's arm to keep her head out of the water. She momentarily reflected that mere minutes earlier it had been Alec's arm. Even unconscious he had been keeping her safe. She blinked back tears and vaguely wondered why they were there.

She'd cried over Ben. And she'd cried over Tinga. But they'd been her family. She'd never once cried over a fallen comrade. She was a battle-worn super soldier after all. And Ben and Tinga had both been dead. She could feel Alec's heart beating against her chest reassuring her that however lethal the current situation looked, he was still hanging on strong.

Alec was a fighter. He wasn't going to let go. There was no reason why she should feel the tears sliding down her cheeks. He was going to be fine. He wasn't going to leave her. He couldn't leave. She needed him. Need him to help run Terminal City of course. She didn't know what she'd do without him by her side. Because his heightened military training was an advantage of course.

Her heart argued but her brain wouldn't allow it to be put into coherent thoughts as she raised a shaky hand to rest on his damp dirty blonde hair.

She heard loud crashes and splashes as Mole and his fellow lizard trans-human companion Gekk returned with what looked like a chainsaw and Krieg crouched down.

"We're going to need your help getting this off Max. Get a good grip on Alec and don't let go. Don't worry about the blood, we'll staunch it. Just keep a hold of him. Got it?"

Max nodded, slightly irritated that she was the one being given orders but when it came to situations like this medics out-ranked everyone and were given full command to get their jobs done. Krieg was one of the best medics she'd ever seen so she quietly let him order her even though she wanted to snap at him that she didn't need to be told twice to not let go of Alec.

With a resounding crunch she felt Liam on the other side of her pop her shoulder back into place. She let out a scream of surprise before gritting her teeth together and flexing her shoulder to get it moving again.

Mole started up what was indeed a chainsaw, and Max supposed one thing they could thank was that it was just wood going through Alec's body and not something that would be harder to remove like metal.

She wrapped her arms tightly around Alec, one clutching his shoulder blades, and the other at the base of his neck to keep him still and close to him, afraid that the jostling the vibrations of the chainsaw would hurt him farther.

Something about the action felt so right, having Alec in her arms and his warm breath against her. If only the whole ordeal they were going through wasn't so wrong. His neck against her hand felt cold and clammy. She hoped it was only from the water. She could still feel his pulse beating and the small rhythm beneath her fingers kept her mind focused on clinging onto him to keep him still, to keep him as safe as she could and protect him like he'd protected her.

They were doing their best to hold the plank still as Mole cut it down to a size they could manage to pull out of the impaled transgenic and Max was latched onto him so tightly she could feel her muscles straining but she could still feel him involuntarily shaking slightly from the chainsaw's vibrations. She squeezed her eyes shut against the saw dust that was flying through the air and mingling with Alec's blood in the water.

Joshua caught the plank as it fell in half so it wouldn't land on them again and cause any further damage and Max vaguely wondered when Joshua had gotten there. He had most likely come in with Mole and Gekk and she had just been too pre-occupied to notice. And he had probably been too focused on getting Alec to safety to have time to stop and ask stupid questions like if she was ok. The canine trans-human may have trouble stringing sentences together but he really wasn't as dumb as most people liked to believe because of his speech impairment.

Of course she wasn't ok. She was as far from ok as she could possibly get today. She officially broken up with Logan and he hadn't taken it well at all. Several of her citizens had carelessly tried to fix up an old decrypt building by themselves and almost got killed in the process. And now Alec was laying on her on a flooded basement floor with a giant piece of wood through his stomach and she was literally laying in a puddle of his blood. It was so hard to believe that all of this had happened not only in one night but in a few hours. Things had gone wrong for her before, but never this badly all in a row. Unbelievable. First person that actually had the nerve to stupidly ask if she was ok was going to get punched right in the jaw.

She felt hands on her arms and snapped out of her train of thought to look up and see Joshua kneeling over her and Alec.

"Little fella let go now, Joshua has Alec."

She looked back and forth between Joshua and Alec, her chocolate eyes wide.

"But the beam is still in him. You have to-"

Liam cut her off this time. "We can't do it here after all. We have to get him back to the medical bay so we can get the bleeding under control and have blood transfusions ready for when we remove it. We don't know if it punctured anything."

Max moved her hand from Alec's neck to his hair and mingling in the dark blonde strands while she hesitantly let her other arm drop from around his shoulders.

Joshua made a whining noise in the back of his throat and made to slowly pull Alec away from her. For a second even though she understood what was going on, panic seized her and she tightened her hand around his arm. She knew Joshua needed to take him but some unreasonable part of her mind was terrified that if he toke Alec away from her she'd never see him again. That her arms were literally holding him here with her and keeping him alive and if she let go, he just might let go of his life.

Liam knelt down next to her with a syringe in one hand and she eyed it carefully, knowing what he was intending to do as the transhuman sighed.

"This is just to put you to sleep for a bit and relieve the pain, alright? You'll wake back up once we have you back in the medical bay and stabilized." The transhuman gently soothed the stray strands of her hair that stuck to her face away as he pressed the needle into her arm.

She wanted to argue that she wanted to stay awake; to be sure that Alec would be ok. She wanted to be there when he woke up. She wanted to know that he was going to wake up. But instead she let her self drift off under the influence of the drugs, her fingers gripping tightly in Alec's hair and refusing to let go.


	2. Living in a Nightmare

Chapter 2: Living in a Nightmare

Joshua was the only thing standing in-between her and Alec. Well, and a door and several medics also. But at the moment, Joshua was the one standing in front of the door to stop Max from entering Alec's room, his wide torso taking up the width of the doorframe so she couldn't squeeze past. She debated childishly diving in-between his legs but strongly decided against it for the sake of her dignity.

Max stood directly in front of the tall trans-human, her arms crossed across her chest in defiance. It had been five hours since she woke up and remembered everything that had happened in the basement with frightening clarity. The water, the door breaking down, the support beams falling, the blood, Alec...

Her arm had been popped back into place easily and didn't even bother with a sling. She cherished the slight pulsing pain going through her shoulder as a reminder that Alec risked his life for her.

'Idiot.' she thought ruefully. She never knew Alec as the kind of guy that would jump in front of danger for anyone. But she supposed being Second in Command changed him in ways and he had felt obligated to protect his leader. Part of his wolf DNA probably. But now he was behind that damned door and refused to come out and Joshua was refusing to let her in.

It wasn't that she was worried about him surviving. She had heard his loud voice yelling earlier through the walls. It was the edge of panic that laced his voice that had her worried. She couldn't make out the muffled shouts at the time in her groggy state but it had been three hours and he still hadn't come out. She still hadn't been let in. Joshua had gone in earlier, but now he just remained standing guard in front of the door, picking her up and placing her back on the couch across the room whenever she attempted to get through, simply telling her that 'Medium fella needs time to cope.'

Time to cope? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did he hurt his pretty face or bruise his butt? She ran a hand through her hair in frustration and glared at Joshua who looked back at her with a look of sympathy, but un-moving defiance. She could remember a time when Joshua used to growl at Alec every time he showed up. When exactly had that changed the two of them became such loyal friends? Sometime in-between when Alec decided to not kill him because he didn't have a barcode and when he was running around in the sewers with Logan looking for Isaac.

But she could be sure that something sparked the strong friendship that the two shared and right now she was finding that friendship irritating. Joshua used to be completely loyal to her and would literally jump to help her with whatever she needed and now here he was stubbornly standing in-between her and what she needed. No, wanted. No, both of those sounded so wrong...she just needed to check on Alec. That's all. Just to see with her own eyes that he was ok. Because she was just worried about him since he'd gotten hurt for her. Right? Right.

Liam was still inside. Krieg had exited about two hours ago, stating there was nothing else to do with a nervous look on his albino features and emphasized the fact that Liam would come out to get her when Alec was ready.

Actually, it was just Alec himself that seemed to inspire such strong loyalty towards anyone who worked with him with his charismatic smile and comforting tone of voice when it wasn't being used for sarcasm. Perhaps that was how he out-voted the gun-toting transhuman Mole who was older; more experienced, and had been here longer than him. Mole had been the likely candidate for the job and it had surprised all three of them when Alec was appointed the position instead.

Liam finally cracked open the door and slipped out, leaving it open a crack and looking startled to see both Joshua and Max outside but not surprised.

"Can I see him yet?" Max tried to sound commanding but she felt her lips pull into a pout and her eyebrows curved into a hurt expression.

Liam looked back through the crack in the door before sighing and nodded.

"You might as well. It's not like he can hide in there forever and maybe you can cheer him up somehow." She could have sworn she heard him mutter 'though I doubt it' as he walked away and she pushed the door open with Joshua close behind her making sounds of protest.

Alec was sitting up with his back to the headboard of the old bed. Terminal City couldn't afford the fancy medical bed that hospitals had so they made due with whatever they found leftover around the city from when it had been evacuated. He was staring down at his hands and didn't even look up as they walked in.

She stopped a few feet short of his bed feeling relief flood over her. She had been positive he was going to be ok but somewhere in the back of her mind the thought of loosing him had still lingered until now.

"Hey there." She shoved her hands into her jean pockets to try and look nonchalant, like the past few hours hadn't happened. "You alright?"

She had expected his trademark cocky smirk and usual reply of "I'm always alright" that was his answer for everything.

Instead he blinked slowly and shook his head. Max did a double take. His lips were pressed together as if he was he were trying to keep something inside and his normally bright emerald eyes were dull and held pain in them that ran deeper than physical injury.

Max closed the distance between them but still couldn't bring herself to touch him in comfort. To run her fingers through his hair or give his hand a squeeze. Her mind begged her to do it but her body wouldn't obey as she stood motionless beside him.

"What's wrong?"

He looked out the dirty window at the sun that was rising in the sky instead of at her and for a second she didn't think he was going to respond.

Then he toke a deep breath and looked back down at his hands that were laying on his lap.

"I'm useless."

Max furrowed her brows. "What on Earth is that supposed to mean? Look, Alec, just because some decrypted old building started falling down doesn't mean anything. You did everything you could and everyone got out ok. And I'm ok. And that's thanks to you." She hesitated for a second; she had never been good at thank yous. Not ones that actually meant something anyways. And you can't really put the kind of protection Alec had offered her into words or a thank you that did it justice.

He looked up at her but didn't smile. "I'm glad you're ok."

Max smiled and smacked him on the leg. "And you're fine too. So get your butt up and let's go. We've got work to do."

Something flashed across his green eyes like agony and the smile dropped from her lips slightly.

"I can't."

She put her hands on her hips. "Can't what? You can't just lay around here all day."

"Well actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do." His voice had gone quieter but now held irritation and anger in its tone. "Because I can't-" He toke another breath and fisted his hands in the sheets. "I can't get up. I can't feel my freakin legs Max. I'm useless."

It toke a second for Max to understand what he was trying to tell her before her eyes widened in realization. She smacked his leg again and noticed this time that he didn't even twitch at the contact.

"But- there's no way. You're transgenic." She pointed out the fact as if he didn't know it himself and he would go 'oh, I'm transgenic? Well in that case...' and get up. They had superior bodies that healed injuries quicker. Just a little bit of her blood had once temporarily healed Logan's ability to walk so there was no way Alec was laying here right now with a full body of amped up blood but couldn't feel his legs.

"Yeah. Tell that to the piece of wood that splintered in my spine." He mumbled and glared at the lumps that were his legs under the sheets.

Max swallowed hard but the lump in her throat didn't go away and she heard Joshua make his pitiful whining noise behind her.

"Just- Just hang on a minute. I'll go talk to Liam. There must be some mistake." She toke a few steps backwards, unable to tear her eyes away from Alec as he rolled his eyes at her before she turned and pushed past Joshua.

Liam was with Krieg in the hallway outside and they both looked up as she ran outside.

"What the hell is going on?" She almost screamed, trying to keep her emotions under control. There were a dozen other ways she could have phrased the question more elegantly but she wasn't in the mood to dance around the bush this morning.

When Logan had lost the ability to walk he'd barely been able to keep himself together, and he was just an ordinary that spent most of his time in a chair behind a computer anyways. Alec was a soldier, a fighter. He was so full of energy all the time and running from building to building or jumping over fences. How on earth would he be able to cope without the use of his legs?

And this was her fault too. Alec made the second man she cared about that had lost his ability to walk because of her. She denied her guilt about Logan but she still couldn't get over the fact that if she had just helped him in the first place he never would have gotten shot and crippled. And now Alec. If she had just been quicker Alec wouldn't have had to dive in front of her and take the blow for her. She'd be the one laying in that hospital bed right now. She should be the one immobile, not him.

"Max, you need to calm down." Liam started, holding his hands out in surrender in an attempt to calm her.

"Calm down? How can I calm down when my second in command is in there telling me he can't feel his legs?"

Krieg sighed. "We've already gone through this with Alec. We think it's only temporary. He is, after all, transgenic. The wood severed his spine but when we removed it in surgery we were able to set the bones back into place. All that's left to do right now it wait for it to heal properly and he should regain the use of his legs as soon as the nerves re-attach themselves."

"Are you sure?"

The two medics exchanged a look. "No. But it's the best bet and it makes sense. I can't imagine a transgenics body wouldn't completely heal back after something like this."

Joshua came out of the room and slapped a strong hand on her shoulder. "Max don't worry. Alec strong."

She toke a breath. Of course he was. But now the problem lay with keeping Alec sane until his spine could heal and who knew how long that could take. With the blood loss it could take anywhere from two weeks to two months. Maybe longer if he agitated the injury.

She heard a loud thud from the room and ran back inside to see Alec on the ground, struggling to prop himself up on his elbows as one of his legs was still twisted in the sheets on his bed and the other was halfway off the bed in an awkward angle that made it look broken.

"What on Earth do you think your doing?" Max yelled at him, rushing over and grabbing under his shoulders to pull him back onto the bed. She could feel his shoulders tense when she made contact with him and wasn't sure what to make of the action.

He shrugged. "Forgot. Tried to get up." Was his only response and she recognized the same clipped tone she had used earlier in her office when she had been feeling too depressed and defeated to complete full sentences.

"Forgot? We just talked about it less than two minutes ago" when he refused to meet her gaze, she realized he hadn't forgotten. He just didn't want to accept it.

It had been less than an hour and she already couldn't stand seeing him like this. He wasn't Alec anymore, the cocky self-assured smirk was long gone from his face as if he hadn't smiled in years and the light was gone from his eyes as if he were dead already on the inside. But he was no longer X5-494 as his walls shut down and he was consumed in self-loathing and depression as his world as he knew it was devastated. She didn't know what to call this new shell that was once the man she'd been so close to. He was merely a ghost of what he used to be.

For a transgenic to be a cripple was like living in their worst nightmare, worse than any torture chambers White and his cult could dream up or anything Manticore could create in Psy-Ops. In a nightmare, you could wake up. Any other situation you could escape from. But how could you run from something that rendered you unable to even move?

But this was Alec she was thinking about. He always found a way out of the worst-case-scenarios and there was still hope. And as long as there was still hope, Max was going to help him see it, no matter how cliché that sounded. He was always alright. She was going to make sure he'd always be alright in the end. She couldn't stand the thought of him never being the same Alec she had grown so used to. It was painful just to think about. It was as if he had died down in that basement and this was a completely different person sitting in front of her.

00111101010 DARK ANGEL 11101001010101

He was always alright, so why did he seem so far from it right now?

Alec sat in the make-shift hospital bed staring at his hands. His thumb itched and he refused to scratch it. He relished in the fact that he could still feel his hands, still feel something. His shoulders ached and he loved it. He had a slight headache that he never wanted to go away.

But he couldn't feel anything in his legs. They just laid there limp like they belonged to someone else and wouldn't listen to his mind screaming at them to move.

He didn't regret running to Max. Not in the slightest. But he had no idea it'd be this bad. He had seen her dodge out of the way of the main support beam as it fell and ran to make sure she was ok just in time to see her go down and hit her head with a thud-like splash on the water covered floor.

He had bent over her to check her pupils and make sure she didn't concuss herself and didn't have the second to realize what was happening before he felt the sharp pain shooting through his back as he collapsed on top of Max, choking as his own blood bubbled up in his throat and splashed into the water, blossoming like red flowers underwater and creating red swirls around their bodies like food dye being dropped into a cup of water.

He looked down at Max, her hair was streaming out around her in the water like an angel and small splatters of his blood on her cheeks. How appropriate that he was probably going to die and she was the closest thing to an angel that he'd ever see. His last thought was that he was glad it was him and not her, the same thing he had once thought long ago when the choice had come to decide between killing Max or letting an explosive go off in his neck. His choice would always be the same. He would always put Max's life before his own.

Next thing he knew he heard he was in complete body-paralyzing agony as Mole pulled what remained of the plank out of him. His whole body felt numb as he felt his warm blood gushing out of the wound and strong hands on his stomach trying to staunch it from the front as someone held him upright from behind, trying to stop the blood flow from his back at the same time.

He clinched his jaw and gripped whoever was holding him up, his fingers fisting in army camo material and assuming it was Mole. His mind couldn't focus on anything but the unbearable pain shooting through his midsection. It wasn't until his mind was hazy with blood loss that he realized he couldn't feel his legs. At the moment he decided that it was only because of the pain, or some painkillers they must have given them. Because there was just no way a perfect transgenic soldier like him could become something as useless and pathetic as a cripple.

Logan had been a cripple and now he had to use that exo-skeleton to walk that made that annoying electric whirring noise when he walked. At least he wouldn't have to listen to that or put up with the jealous glares anymore.

He supposed that now that Max had given up the charade to Logan that he could start prowling around again. But it also meant Max wouldn't urge him to hold her whenever they picked up the sound of that exo-skeleton approaching. He always knew Max wanted him to touch her in some way, to show affection towards her when Logan was around but he played oblivious all the same. He liked seeing that flare in her chocolate doe-like eyes. He liked her letting him know that she wanted him to touch her. If he just wrapped his arms around her it felt empty and one-sided. If she forced him into it, it felt like a connection between the two of them that left a warm feeling in his stomach. He wasn't quite sure why he enjoyed the whole thing so much.

He assumed it was because he liked the feeling of being needed. No, he needed to feel needed. Alec wasn't a lone wolf; he was a leader of a pack. He needed a pack to take care of, to look up to him and wither Max liked it or not, she was a part of his pack. A group of friends that he'd do anything to protect. Not that he'd ever tell her of course.

But now that he thought about it, Max wouldn't need him anymore now that she was officially done with Logan. She wouldn't need him to touch her, or see her at all outside of Command Center while they were working. He felt a pain in his chest he couldn't explain that had nothing to do with his injury. He'd miss running his hand over her shoulders and placing his hand around her small waist. He'd miss pressing small kisses to her neck and smelling the coconut conditioner she used in her long brown hair.

He shook the thoughts out of his head as Mole pulled his body to prop him up against the headboard of the bed and decided that he was only going to miss those things because they had become like habit to him over the months. However, when he pulled himself out of his thoughts, he realized that he still couldn't feel his legs.

"Uh...guys? What kind of pain killers did you give me?"

He saw Liam and Krieg exchange dark looks and Mole shift from one foot to the other nervously. It was odd seeing the tough lizard soldier looking nervous and that alone made Alec nervous.

"Guys?" He repeated with a more commanding tone.

"Just the usual." Liam stood by the end of the bed and started massaging the muscles on Alec's leg, but being careful to stay out of arm's reach.

Alec raised an eyebrow. "Then why can't I feel you feeling me up there sweetheart?"

Liam should have glowered at him for the remark since he knew that Alec know damn well the action was a medical procedure. Instead his eyes darted to Krieg who answered for him.

"We were...ah, we were afraid of that."

"Afraid of what?"

"Well, you see, you literally got impaled Alec. The plank went straight through you. In all honesty, there's no way you should be alive. It's the closest thing to a miracle I've ever seen." He shook his head at the idea of someone from Manticore having such good luck. "Your spine was severed almost completely in half..."

He trailed off as the words sunk in. Alec felt cold all over as if he were standing alone in the middle of a blizzard. He knew what spinal damage meant. To ordinary humans anyway. But there was no way someone like him...

"Are you trying to tell me I'm a fucking cripple?" He whispered, afraid if he said it louder and people actually heard, it'd make it true.

Unfortunately it was true regardless.

"We think that once it heals you should regain your mobility-"

"You THINK? I need better than guessing guys! I can't be a cripple! I have an entire city that needs to be taken care of and that's going to get itself killed if they try to do it themselves!" Alec didn't mean to yell at the medics but his panic was starting to get the best of him. Back in Manticore they trained you not to panic, no matter what. But back at Manticore they also 'disposed' of any useless equipment such as soldiers that couldn't use their legs. So right now felt like a pretty good time for panic. "I can't be stuck in a bed or-or a wheelchair...what's everyone else going to do?"

"Alec, calm down. The city can take care of itself until you get better..."

Alec snorted. "Oh really? Like today? When it tried to take care of itself and almost got three X6's and Max killed and me..." He swallowed hard. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't take care of his people if he couldn't move. He was completely useless and being useless wasn't something Alec could deal with being.

Krieg and Mole had left Alec to himself to think by the time yelling had stopped. Which, he had only stopped yelling and forced himself to calm down because he had started to hyperventilate. Hyperventilating was for chicks and not a weakness he was going to show right now when he was already so...weak.

The door opened a crack and he saw Joshua's long brown hair peeking through the crack before he saw his canine-like friend.

"Medium fella ok?"

Alec shook his head, an action that encouraged Joshua to come in all the way and over to his side. There was no use in lying to Joshua; he always seemed to see right through even the thickest of walls to exactly what was on the inside.

The puppy dog look on Joshua's face would probably be alot more heartwarming and comforting if the puppy in question wasn't about seven feet tall. Sometimes Alec wondered in Sandeman had mixed Sasquatch DNA in when making Joshua because he had yet meet any human that rivaled his height.

"Medium fella going to be ok?"

This time Alec answered with a shrug. The idea of forming words toke too much energy at the moment.

Joshua placed a large hand on Alec's head in comfort and for a moment it felt like the roles had been reversed and Alec was the puppy while Joshua was the gentle owner. Then again, maybe that was how the roles really were right now. Alec was the freaking newborn puppy that couldn't even walk and Joshua was the older mutt that was going to try and take care of it.

"Max outside. Medium fella want to see her?"

Alec shook his head with a little more force this time. He couldn't let Max see him like this. He wouldn't be able to stand seeing the pity and disappointment in her eyes when she found out about his condition. He wouldn't be able to stand her replacing him as her SIC because she needed someone who could actually move by her side. He knew she wouldn't need him as much now that they weren't pretend dating anymore but the idea of her not needing him at all left him feeling like he was suffocating.

He was always supposed to be with Max. He couldn't imagine it any other way and he had always assumed he'd never need to. Through all their differences and fights they always managed to stick together and that's how it was supposed to be. Alec and Max side by side until the world stopped spinning. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Never like this. His world might as well just go ahead and stop spinning.

What did wolves or soldiers do when their packs or units didn't need them anymore? Soldiers retired to be stuck away from their loved ones in some rundown retirement home to be forgotten until they slowly wasted away into nothing. Wolves crawled into a hole and died. Ok, maybe they didn't. But Alec wasn't a lone wolf. He had once been when Manticore assigned him on solo missions but he never felt complete until he was back in Manticore at the head of his unit again. He wouldn't be able to go back to being solo. Not after being alpha of a pack this big.

He might as well crawl into a hole and die like a wounded animal because there was no way he was going to allow them to shove him aside to be forgotten. Not while he had an ounce of pride left in him. And while his legs may be easily broken, his pride was not.

Joshua had left, promising that he'd make Max give Alec space until he was ready. Ready, ha. He didn't think he'd ever be ready to show Max he was about as useful as a flashlight without batteries right now. No, he'd much rather stay here and hide from her until he healed wither it toke a month, half a year, or the rest of his life.

However, when Liam exited he didn't seem to have the same respect for Alec's wishes that Joshua had and let Max into his room with a hesitant Joshua behind her, giving Alec a silent apology in his blue eyes.

He knew Joshua felt guilty for allowing Max into his room to see him in this state but he also knew how Max always seemed to get her way and the large transhuman could never really say no to her. Not for long anyways.

He wanted to plaster a smile on his face and pretend everything was alright. Joke that he was too lazy to get up right now and stall the eventual. Pretend that there were other reasons for him not getting out of bed until he was able to stand on his own again. How long would he be able to trick her like that before she caught on?

But when Max had asked if he was ok, with that expectant look in her eyes that told him she was waiting to hear his usual line of 'I'm always alright.' He couldn't bring himself to, and shook his head. He couldn't even bring himself to look at her and the expression of disbelief on her face.

He could have sworn he heard concern in her voice when she asked what was wrong with him and he turned to look out the window although he could barely see out the dirty panes. For the hospital room, he wondered why they allowed the windows to be so dirty. Weren't hospitals supposed to be sterile and sparkling clean? Then again, this was Terminal City and he doubted that anything inside its walls would ever sparkle again.

He finally managed to choke out his first words since he'd yelled at the medics and Mole for his condition.

"I'm useless."

"What on Earth is that supposed to mean? Look, Alec, just because some decrypted old building started falling down doesn't mean anything. You did everything you could and everyone got out ok. And I'm ok. And that's thanks to you."

He almost let a small smile grace his lips or a chuckle form but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't bring his usual cocky attitude that had become like second nature to him to the surface. He hated how self-loathing and defeated he knew he looked right now but that's exactly how it was, wasn't it? He was defeated by his own body and he hated himself for it.

And poor Max thought he was just laying here wallowing in self pity because he felt responsible for the building trying to cave in on them. He knew it wasn't his fault but he knew it wasn't the X6's either. They were just doing what they had been raised to do. To take care of a situation themselves when it needed fixed. If you want something done, do it yourself. No one from Manticore was really the type to stand around and wait for someone else to do all the word, especially not now that they were free and on their own.

He was glad she was ok though. She didn't even look like she had a scratch on her. He just wondered how thankful she'd be when she found out exactly what price he had paid to protect her and if her thanks would be enough to not toss him to the curb immediately. Perhaps she'd keep his company around for a little while longer until she trained the new Second in Command, just for old time's sake. Or maybe she'd walk out that door and never come back.

She smacked his leg playfully and made a joke about getting him up. He didn't even feel a thing. Max packed a punch even when she was playing around and he should have felt at least something when she smacked him, but nothing. He couldn't bring himself to joke back or swat at her playfully. He couldn't bring himself to do anything but sit there even though his mind was screaming at him to stop acting weak and grow a spine.

Then again, if he could grow his spine back he wouldn't be in this mess. He wanted to pretend that there was nothing wrong but how long could he keep up a charade like that?

And when he had to finally admit that he couldn't get up and she protested, the gig was entirely up.

"Well actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Because I can't-" He toke a deep breath and fisted his hands in the sheets, willing his useless legs underneath to move so he wouldn't have to finish this sentence "I can't get up. I can't feel my freakin legs Max. I'm useless."

She smacked his leg again in disbelief and just stood there staring at him before trying to argue that it was impossible. Joshua made the whining noise he made when he was upset because someone was hurt or yelling- and in this case it was both.

And then what he dreaded happened. She spun around and stormed out of the room. He lead his head fall back against the headboard and silently berated himself. He knew he should have acted like nothing was wrong. Less than ten minutes after finding out about his condition and she was gone even though she had stuck by Logan for almost a year before he found a way to walk again.

Then again, he'd always known that Max cared more about Logan that she did him. That's why she was willing to sacrifice Alec's emotions to protect Logan's. But it wasn't like he had any feelings toward Max anyways.

But then why did it feel like his heart was shattering when he watched her walk through that door and leave him?

Because when she was gone he felt empty and a crushing feeling settled on his heart. When she was gone she was always on his mind and never truly not with him. And now she might be gone for good and all because his body was too weak and broken to keep up with her high standards of those who followed her. It did seem appropriate though; to expect people that followed her to be able to, well, follow her on their own two legs.

He stared at the door long after she walked out it as if he stared hard enough she would walk back through at any second with some magical cure for his spine. Who was he kidding? She had loved Logan and gave up on their magical cure. He was just another replaceable soldier at her disposal.

Well screw that. He wasn't going to take this laying down, no pun intended. This wasn't Manticore anymore. He wasn't going to allow himself to be thrown away. Pushing himself so he was sitting fully upright he turned his waist so he was leaning to the side and braced himself by gripping the small table next to his bed that had once held the gauze and stitches they used to patch him up with. At least he could still feel his hips so he wouldn't need a catheter. That was a bright side to a day covered in storm clouds if anything was.

He pushed his upper torso up and braced his full body weight against his arms. So far so good, now he just needed to maneuver his legs off the bed. Mind over matter. Some part of his mind was sure that if he could just get his legs up, they'd stand and he'd be able to go after Max and prove to her that he could still be of use to her even though he'd already called himself useless.

He put his weight on one arm and used the other to grab the fabric of his pants and try to pull his leg off the bed, a task that proved to be more difficult than he thought as it caused him to loose his balance and tumble headfirst over the side of the bed.

The corner of the table jarred his elbow and the world spun for a minute from the crash landing to the floor mixed with the earlier blood loss. One leg was still stuck on top of the bed, twisted in the sheets although he couldn't feel the fabric against his skin and the other hung at a broken angle as if mocking him.

He growled and shoved himself onto his elbows as the door slammed open and revealed Max, Joshua, Krieg and Liam.

He stopped pushing himself upright, momentarily stunned. She hadn't left. She had been close enough to hear him tumble to the ground this whole time. She rushed to his side and he watched her hair blow away from her face as she moved forward before looking away from her in shame. Part of him was celebrating that she hadn't abandoned him. Yet. But part of him was destroyed that she was seeing him like this. He wanted her to see him successfully on his own two feet again. Not laying broken on the floor like a discarded toy soldier.

Alec was pleasantly surprised when he felt her wrap her arms under his arms and around his back to help hoist him back up onto the bed. His skin felt hot where she touched him and he could smell her coconut conditioner again. It brought back memories of their fake relationship and for some reason it hurt. It made him want to wrap his arms back around her so she couldn't let go.

"What on Earth do you think your doing?"

Oh nothing, just trying to stand on my jelly-noodle legs and follow you out the door like a wounded puppy you left in the rain.

Instead he shrugged. "Forgot." He lied. Like he could ever forget something as huge as this- so huge he couldn't even find the words to put it into. Life altering tragedy almost did it justice but it still left it lacking how devastating the feeling of a free-spirited soldier becoming trapped in his own body was. "Tried to get up." At least the last part wasn't a lie, no matter how futile his attempts had been.

He wanted to grip her arms when she pulled away and keep her close but instead he let her move away again with a look in her brown eyes that he couldn't read.

The way he was thinking about her lately was starting to scare him. He'd never depended on anyone the way he depended on her. He'd never been so unreasonably attached to someone that he ached to be near them all the time.

Except for one other time he could remember...Rachel.

Her memory was still raw after recently seeing her on her literal death bed and seeing her grave after her body gave up the fight for life. He had loved her, and he had let her down. In the end, even though she taught him how to feel emotions he never thought he'd experience and he'd risked it all against Manticore to save her, he still hadn't been able to protect her.

But he had protected Max. It was him laying in this bed instead of her and that gave him a little comfort, knowing that he wouldn't be able to handle seeing her in this position instead. Max made his heart beat at the same speed that Rachel had, the rhythm of loving someone.

He choked on a breath and looked back out the window as Max's eyes darted to him at the noise. He couldn't be in love with Max. Max was in love with Logan even if she had broken things off. She was just worried about his health. He couldn't be in love with Max. Especially not now that he wouldn't be able to offer her anything; not protection, not comfort, not even company walking down the street.

He cursed his heart as it betrayed his mind and he knew he was wrong. After going into Psy-Ops after Rachel, he swore he'd never love again, he'd never show any emotion again. But after the years he'd slowly begun feeling again and he had gone and fallen in love with Max.

This was a freakin nightmare.

But first things were first. He was going to get out of this rundown hospital room if it killed him in the process. He wasn't going to just sit around and mope in this bed forever and wait for one thing to go wrong after the other.


	3. Meet Me Halfway

Chapter 3: Meet Me Halfway

It had been close to a week and Alec showed no signs of improving.

He'd been allowed to move from the hospital room back to his apartment in Terminal City only because no one really had a say in the matter. No one knew what he said or did to convince the canine trans-human, but he'd gotten Joshua to give him a piggy back ride back to his apartment as soon as night fell the first night after he was injured.

For a second Max had thought she saw a shadow of the old Alec, smirking and joking about how getting carried around like that made him get to feel like a normal five year old kid in the childhood he'd missed out on. But up close- she couldn't miss the bitter, dark look his eyes held that said the whole bravado was only for Joshua's benefit. It probably helped him hang onto some of his lingering pride to pretend he was enjoying being carried around like a bag of luggage that could be discarded.

For the first few days Max ran back and forth between her office in Command Central and Alec's apartment. She'd stop by in the morning, just to make sure he was alright. Her shark DNA allowed her to get up before him and she doubted if he even knew she stopped by while he was quietly slumbering still. Might as well let him enjoy sleeping in while he could, because she was going to be working him over-time when he got back on his feet.

She tried to think optimistically, that Alec would be by her side at command again soon. She'd had several offers from transgenics and transhumans alike to fill Alec's slot in his absence but she refused them all. Work piled up higher than ever but she couldn't bring herself to replace Alec, even if it was only temporary. She didn't want to look up from her desk one day and see someone else where Alec was supposed to be. But that's just because she was so used to seeing him there, habit. Right? Right.

She was double convincing herself more often lately about these strange thoughts and feelings she'd been harboring towards Alec. The strange feeling that urged her to swing past Alec's apartment, just to see the rise and fall of his chest before work no matter how late she was running. The strange feeling that kept her mind wandering back to the male X5's sparkling green eyes that she missed and longed to see light up the way they used to again.

She'd somehow manage to get through at least a bit of her paperwork before her lunch break. A week ago, she would have skipped her lunch break if she had been behind in her files. But now she couldn't bring herself to. As soon as the reminder on her laptop went off, she was up and out the door, and right back to Alec's apartment.

Joshua and Raulph, whom, despite earning her name after vomiting the first time she saw a bullet wound being cauterized was now a part of the medical team, were usually at Alec's apartment trying to help him with physical therapy.

Max remembering a time when Bling, Logan's old body-guard had helped him with the same thing after his life-altering incident. Joshua helped support Alec from behind him while Raulph massaged his leg muscles and lifted his legs, once a time, to get them used to the movement they were supposed to be making.

They usually stopped as soon as Max entered though, knowing she always brought Alec lunch. Alec's eyes always held a hint of shame and Max couldn't find the words to try and convince him there was nothing to feel ashamed about before he'd cover up any emotion he let slip and let his eyes fall back into their dead mask.

Then she'd have to leave again. Every day it got harder and harder to get up and walk out that door. It was the only time Alec would let his emotions bleed into his eyes and something in that expression always tore at her heart. Like he was begging her to stay and not leave him but couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud so he tried to express them with his eyes.

Until today. After she'd shut the door behind her, she heard the familiar thud she had heard only one other time outside the hospital room. She burst back in the room, ignoring that the door handle probably left a dent in the wall from where it slammed open and rushed to Alec who was sprawled on the floor.

"What were you thinking?" She snapped at him, once again putting her arms under him to lift him back onto the couch. Except this time she was met with resistance and furrowed her eyebrows at him as she frowned.

"What're you trying to lift me for? Maybe I wanted to be on the floor." He paused to look up at her and she was delighted to see that light back in his eyes for a brief second. "Unless that is, you want to hold me."

"Pfft, in your-" She stopped short. She was going to say dreams but she was clearly sitting here holding him while they were both awake in reality. "Whatever. You wish." Which was also incorrect at the moment but she was having issues coming up with come-backs with his body heat so close and intimate to her for some reason.

"Aw Maxie. Hold me? Please?" He batted his long eyelashes up at her and mocked her in a girlish tone that brought a smile to her face for the first time in days.

Any sarcastic remark died on her tongue when she looked down at him and felt that familiar tug on her heart again.

"Seriously Alec. What were you thinking? Your floor isn't that comfortable."

He hesitated and she knew that whatever fell out of his mouth wasn't going to be the whole truth as she saw him searching for something to twist into words.

"I was just thinking you could probably use some help back at command. Must be getting behind in work since you keep coming later and staying shorter." His grip on her tightened but as soon as he realized what he'd done his green eyes widened and he quickly let go of her altogether. "I mean, Dalton told me you haven't replaced me...so..." His voice was heavy with gratitude and it allowed Max to be able to read in-between the lines he was creating.

He hadn't wanted her to leave. She'd been able to see it in his eyes but she never thought his desperation would get so bad that he'd actually try to follow her without the use of his legs. Had he planned on crawling on his belly with his arms doing all the work the whole way there or had he merely purposely thrown himself on the floor because he knew it would send her running back in to him?

"Well then, you can lay here enjoying your ugly ceiling while I go work, or I can get you back onto your equally ugly couch and bring the work back here."

He reared his head back and blinked at her. "I don't know what you're talking about. My couch isn't ugly." The couch in question was red and tan plaid and worn in several places with an arm that looked like it'd been chewed on by a dog and squashed pillows. In Max's opinion, it was absolutely hideous but she knew they had to make due with that they had and this was one of the few couches that was long enough for Alec's height to fully sprawl out on. Max thought back to her own dark blue couch with tiny white polka dots and shook her head. All of their couches were defiantly hideous.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She made a second attempt at lifting him and this time he complied with her, grabbing the side of his couch to help her hoist him back up onto it. "We could try to find you an exo-skeleton to use for awhile..." She said carefully. She knew Alec disliked Logan's own exo-skeleton and she wasn't sure if he'd rather have no use of his legs or attach an annoying piece of metal to himself.

The exo-skeleton was appropriate for Logan. It made him walk as stiff as his personality was and made him seem as robotic as the computers he always worked with. Alec seemed too lively to imagine walking in that structured mechanic way.

He pulled a face. "I'd rather rip my ears off." And she knew he was referring to the noise it made whenever it moved. Her transgenic hearing picked up on it too and it could seem deafening in a silent room or when it echoed. Sometimes when she was alone with Logan it almost drove her crazy to the point where she wanted to throw it out the window with him still attached.

Then again, sometimes she wanted to do that regardless of the noise.

"I'd rather you didn't. You're missing enough limbs as is." She caught herself after she'd said the words aloud, biting her tongue as she watched something hurt flash across Alec's face and mentally scolded herself. It was their usual back-and-forth tirade but right now Alec was more sensitive than usual. And she didn't know how to deal with a sensitive Alec. Then again, she'd never had to deal with a transgenic with a crippled body and broken spirit before either.

They stared at each other for an awkward moment before she got up off the couch, deciding to go and grab some work to bring back. There was no way she could leave Alec alone after this and part of her was glad for a reason to be in his company for longer hours.

"So, I'll just wait here then." He looked up at her with a knowing expression on his features.

She snapped her mouth shut and mock glared at him. He had already responded to her as if he had known she had been just about ready to tell him to stay here. Like he could go anywhere. He'd already proven mere seconds ago that it would be impossible in his current state. She snorted and shook her head. "Yeah. You do that."

She shut the door behind her again, waiting a few seconds to make sure she didn't hear another tattle tale thud of Alec trying to somehow follow after her again. She thought back, remembering how his eyes were starting to light back up the way they used to and stayed that way longer and longer while she was around. She was touched that Alec was letting himself come back out of the shell he'd created to protect himself emotionally while his body was repairing itself. She liked to think it was because of her being around him, and now she was almost positive.

She'd never realized until now how close her and Alec really were. They knew exactly which buttons to press on each other that wouldn't hurt the other's feelings but would drive the point home. They could read each other's eyes like open books and sometimes knew what the other was going to say before they said it. They even had a way of knowing what they were thinking despite the words that came out of their mouths.

She'd never felt this close to anyone before. She was close to her 'siblings' but she certainly couldn't read them or tell what they were thinking. She could read Logan easily but he didn't know which buttons he pressed were off limits and often left her hurting on the inside. Original Cindy and Joshua were her best friends but even they sometimes held secrets that Max couldn't figure out no matter how long she stared at them.

Back in her office Max shoved her laptop back into its battered bag and hoped the strap would stay in tact for the trip back to Alec's place and not allow her crappy computer to drop and get damaged any further. Dix had already fixed it twice and she wasn't sure how many times he was willing to get it running again.

She shoved a stack of letters from various government cliental and shops around Seattle in the bag and dumped a larger stack of hate mail into the trashcan. She shoved the papers in the bag, and grabbed a few Manila folders on her way back out.

"Working at home today?" Luke asked as she walked back out.

"Yes...and no." She shifted her gaze and kept a tight hold on her bag's strap.

"How is that a yes and no question?" She was sure Luke would have raised an eyebrow if he had any.

"Yes I'm working at home...but it's not my own."

He stared at her until she finished. "Alec's."

"Oh." He smiled and it was surprising how cute the trans-human could look when he let his face crack into that smile. "Good. Get him to pull his own weight around here-" The smile instantly dropped from his face as he realized the double meaning his words could mean.

Max shrugged at him, showing it was ok and just a slip of words. After all, she understood, she'd done the same thing to Alec's face a few minutes ago and didn't want Luke to feel as guilty as she did over it. She waved bye to him before turning to jog down the stairs. At least this way she wouldn't have to go up and down these stairs four or more times a day to run across the street to see Alec.

She walked back in to see Alec in the same spot but leaning backwards with his eyes closed. She carefully set down her bag instead of dropping it and went over to sit next to him. His breathing was even and shallow and she could see the dark circles under his eyes as the sun shone through his open window. She'd been assuming he had been taking advantage of sleeping in during the mornings but maybe he wasn't getting that much sleep after all. It must be hard to fall asleep at night with so much on his mind.

She didn't know what came over here but she suddenly felt compelled to lean against him. As soon as her body touched his warm body it instantly relaxed as a reflex. Her body molded to his comfortably before she straightened up and looked at him funny, before glancing around the room.

She shook him lightly. "Alec."

His eyes snapped open and he moved like he was going to stand up out of alert reflex but fell over slightly to the side, finding himself almost in Max's lap if he hadn't caught himself with each arm on either side of her legs.

He looked up at her, surprise evident in his green eyes. "I didn't hear you come in" He stated obviously.

She couldn't remember ever being this close to his face and could see hazel flecks littering the dark emerald orbs.

But she didn't have time to admire his eyes right now. "When was the last time you toke a bath?"

He blinked and looked up at the ceiling as if counting the days. "Well, I got- hurt...five days ago. I think I showered the day before that though."

"You haven't showered in a week?"

He leveled her with a look. "It's not like I can just waltz in there whenever I want. And it's not like I see you giving me a sponge bath or anything."

"Sponge baths are for old folk and people in comas. You're getting a bath. Come on." She stood up, motioning for him to offer her his arm so she could help him to the bathroom.

Instead she shook his head in disbelief. "Uh-uh. No way. You show me yours first and I'll show you mine."

Max smacked him on the arm. "I don't wanna see 'yours'. Keep your boxers on. Now come on." She motioned with her hand again.

"No way." He repeated. "Even in boxers you'll see lil General waving around." He crossed his arms across his chest as they glared at each other.

"Fine. Keep your jeans on. I don't care. You're taking a bath if I have to drag you in there clawing at the carpet and-wait...lil General?"

"Yeah." He raised an eyebrow. "I named it. Big whoop. All guys do. ...Want to see him stand at attention?"

She punched him harder this time causing him to laugh. It was a sound she had been aching to hear all week and yet now all she wanted to do was get him to shut up and stop talking about his tra-la-la- she wasn't even going to think the word while she was thinking about Alec. Unbidden images of a half-naked Alec un-buckling his pants at Manticore came to her memory against her will anyways and she shook her head.

"Shut up! Stop talking about-that!" She wrapped her arms under his arms and around his back, determined to stay true to her word and drag him into the bathroom.

And he fulfilled his end of her word by gripping the couch as if he had claws. "Me and General say no way. We need our privacy."

"Well I'm not going to wait for you to be able to get your privacy. You stink like stale sweat, dust, and-...dog?"

He shrugged. "Don't look at me like that. It's the wolf DNA."

She toke the moment he used to shrug as an opening and yanked him off the couch and onto the floor where he landed roughly on top of her. Propping himself up on his elbows he smirked down at her, the same cocky smirk he used to use on a daily basis that warmed her heart to the core and left butterflies in her stomach.

"And here I thought you said you didn't want me in your arms."

She huffed and shoved at him, forcing him to roll off of her. At least his upper torso still moved just fine and he could bend his waist of his own will. She laid on the floor for a second, taking a deep breath and wondering why whenever Alec was close to her lately her body was reacting so weird. Her skin would heat from wherever it made contact and made her burn like she was on pleasurable fire. Her heart would hammer and her stomach would twist into knots. She'd get light-headed like she was going into heat except whenever she left the room or it'd end so she knew it wasn't her cat DNA screwing with her.

Jumping to her feet she bent over to grab him under the shoulders again and drag him into the bathroom. She was sure if his legs worked he'd be hooking them around the couch legs and doorframes to halt her process but then again, if his legs worked she wouldn't be dragging his dirty butt into the bathroom.

She set him up against the wall of his bathroom on the beige tiled floor before locking the door behind her in case he managed to find some way to try and escape. He WAS Alec after all. Sitting against the cream wallpaper he looked like a broken doll that was angry its owner left it on the shelf. Beautiful, flawless, stunning, and yet, so obviously broken by the way his legs laid in unnatural positions on the floor and a green glare in his eyes.

She reached down to help him undress and he pushed her arms away.

"My arms work just fine you know." He muttered as he lifted his shirt up over his head and threw it across the bathroom.

Max narrowed her brown eyes as she watched the fabric fall in a heap on the other side of the bathroom. "I'm the one whose going to have to go get that later ya know."

He titled his head and smirked. Funny how she had been longing to see that smirk and now that it was back all she wanted to do was smack it back off his face. Something about it still made her smile though.

She looked around, realizing that this was the first time she'd ever been inside his bathroom. "You've got to be kidding me...all you've got is a shower stall?"

He furrowed his brows curiously at her. "What were you expecting? I'm not like you chicks that need to soak for hours in a bathtub."

"But still..." She shook her head. "An apartment without a bathtub...seems like an abomination." She clicked her tongue against her teeth. She had been counting on him having a tub that she could dump him into and then sit back on the floor while he washed himself and she made sure he didn't drown. This changed things a bit.

"Just help me to the shower. I'll sit on the floor and wash myself. It's not like my legs will cramp up or anything." There he was again, demonstrating how he could seem to read her mind at times. She didn't fail to notice that the bitterness had crept back into his voice and his eyes were dulling again. No way, she hadn't gotten him to come this far just to give up and let him retreat within himself again.

She faked a smile and didn't care if he saw through it or not. "Nope, that's not how I roll." She stripped off her t-shirt, leaving only her tank top underneath and kicked off her shoes and socks. She didn't mind her tank top and jeans getting wet but there was no point in her shoes or extra shirt getting soaked in the process when they didn't need to be. After all, she'd probably need that shirt to change into later.

He tilted his head to the other side this time. "I see. So how exactly DO you roll Maxie?"

She crouched down and pressed her fingers over his lips. "Shut it."

She wrapped her arms around his waist for a better grip this time and pulled him into the shower with her. He grabbed a hold of the washcloth rack to hold himself up as she pulled the door shut behind them and turned on the faucet, flinching as the almost freezing water hit her bare arms and feeling a bit sorry for Alec, whose entire torso was getting covered in the cold liquid as it rained down over them. At least he'd get clean.

"How long do you think you can hold yourself like that?" She eyed the muscles in his arms that flexed as they supported his full body weight and couldn't help but appreciate the way the water ran down his skin in rivets and left droplets clinging in his eyelashes.

He gave a tiny shrug, unable to move his shoulders much without loosing his balance. "Awhile."

She toke his answer as good enough and picked up a green bar of soap, lathering it in her hands before she ran it over his skin.

She noticed the shudder that passed over him as she washed over his shoulders and chest, feeling the soap bounce slightly as it slid over his abdomen muscles and admiring the way the white lather washed instantly off of him. She stopped at his waist where his pants started and debated washing his pants and hoping it'd soak through to his legs underneath before sighing. If she was going to do this, she might as well do it properly. She'd already come this far, right? Right.

"Don't freak out on me, ok?" She warned him.

He let out a humorless laugh. "Ha. Funny how I remember saying that same thing to you back when we first met. And you freaked out anyway." He twitched, almost crashing to the ground as Max grabbed the hem of his pants and pulled the zipper down. "Whoa! And now I'm freaking out. What are you doing?"

She rolled her eyes, trying to blink the water out of her eyes as she looked up at him. "I told you to NOT freak out. I need to wash your legs."

He clenched his jaw and looked away so Max toke it as a sign that it was ok to continue. She finished un-buttoning the soggy jeans and pulled them off. She reached out to steady him as she felt his whole body slip along with her pull and silently berated herself to be gentler as she carefully eased his limp legs out of each of the holes.

Standing back up, she noticed him shaking. She held a hand closer to the faucet, noting that the water had warmed up considerably but not much. But still not enough to make a transgenic cold. She studied him carefully, and saw the determined, blank look in his eyes giving her a second's warning before his body collapsed and she reached out to grab him, causing her to slip on the wet ground and crash to the ground with him.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "Thought I could hold myself for longer than that."

Max shook her head, her brown hair plastered to her cheeks and shoulders. "Nothin' to apologize for." She scooted backward so she wasn't straddling him so close and was thankful for the cold water splashing over her skin that felt like it was aflame. She watched him taking deep breaths from the strain he had put on his arms and toke deep breaths as well with him, but for different reasons.

"You and me laying around in water together. Seems to be a theme lately, huh?" He asked, trying to make light of the situation and she gave him a small smile, preferring to not think back on that night in the basement.

But she couldn't keep her eyes off him and she was sure the image of Alec almost naked and soaking wet was going to haunt her dreams every night for the rest of her life. Wait, what was she thinking? She'd seen plenty of men naked and they'd never affected her like this. Hell, Logan hadn't even affected her like this. And Alec wasn't even completely naked.

She ran the washcloth over his legs to take her mind off the subject. Well that was a stupid move considering that it was the naked legs of the subject her mind was on. Her hands trembled and she tried to convince herself that it was only because she hadn't been this close to someone's skin for so long, that she hadn't been touched in so long that she was desperate for something, anything. Right? Right.

Wrong.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. It wasn't just anyone her body was desperate for, it was Alec. And here he was underneath her in only his boxers that she could practically see through and his skin glistening under the shower water.

She suddenly felt extremely self conscious of Alec's eyes on her and scooted around to the other side of him. "Here, turn like this." She kept her voice even and she turned his shoulders and wrapped her legs around him so that she was sitting with her back to the wall and he was sitting with his back against her in-between her legs and she could easily reach his hair.

"I can reach my own hair ya know."

She smacked him on the shoulder. "Humor me and sit still." She hoped that her voice still sounded the same to him and didn't give away the heat rising in her face or her accelerated heartbeat. Most of all, she hoped he couldn't really read her mind and find out how she just realized she really felt about him or that she was using this as an excuse to run her hands through his dirty blonde locks of hair as she squirted some of his shampoo into her hand and ran it through his hair.

She could have sworn she heard him start to purr as his shoulders relaxed and she started massaging the shampoo into his hair. But neither the wolf nor hawk in his DNA purred. Maybe the wolf part of him was just thoroughly enjoying her washing him like a dog although she knew he'd never admit it.

Running her hands through his hair again to rinse it out, she felt him lean back against her and didn't protest the action. He was probably exhausted. God knows she was too and even if she wasn't, she certainly didn't mind his body being flushed against hers, fitting together like a missing puzzle piece.

She let her head drop onto his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist, just sitting there under the shower spray until the water turned cold again; listening to each other's breath. Neither of them dared to voice the secrets that were running through their hearts and neither of them wanted to move away from each others comfort.

0010101010010101 DARK ANGEL 00010111011001

Max had been acting weird ever since she'd helped him take a shower. Stupid chicks. He'd told her to leave the matter alone, but no, she just had to literally drag him in there and strip him.

He was happy enough that she had decided to start working in his apartment. Not only did it give him something to do and made him feel useful again while he did his job, looking over paperwork for possible supply runs, but it kept her closer to him.

He'd never been able to mask the pain he felt when she'd get up to walk out that door, knowing he wouldn't see her again until the next day. He knew she noticed it too, and finally the softer side of her gave in. He only had to throw himself off the couch to make her cave. Sure, maybe it hadn't been the brightest of ideas. But as soon as that door clicked shut, he couldn't help himself. He needed to be near her, he managed to keep himself glued together somehow while she was around. She gave him a reason to keep waking up every morning and continuing to breathe even though his life as he knew it had shattered.

So against all reason, he'd attempted to follow her, determined to crawl on his elbows the whole way if he needed to. Lucky for him, she heard him fall just like before, and rushed back in.

And then the whole shower fiasco happened. For a few minutes everything had felt normal again with their back and forth fake arguments and playful hits. Until she started taking off her clothes that was.

At least she hadn't taken off her shirt and pants. Not all the cold water in the world could have hidden the General if she'd done that.

But as long as Alec was focused on holding him upright with all the strength in his arms that he possessed he could keep his mind off Max's dainty hands running soap all over his body. Sure he'd panicked a bit when she started taking off his pants, but to be fair, she'd tricked him into thinking he'd be able to keep them on.

When she tugged on the pants legs to get them off it forced him to loose the grip he'd established on the now slippery washcloth bar that was attached to the side of the shower. His muscles were strained as it was and he could feel them slipping before they gave in completely and sent the rest of his body crashing to the wet floor and taking Max down with him.

Now with her so close and nothing to take his mind off it he had to keep his mind on other things as she washed his legs. Other things. Any other things. Anything non-erotic. The noise Logan's exo-skeleton made, Mole's breath after he smoked a cigar, Normal talking about gladiators, Normal in the strip club, Max had been in that strip club, on his lap, petting his head roughly and absent-mindedly...dammit.

Luckily Max chose this second that he couldn't keep his focus off her any longer to twist behind him and start washing his hair. For a second he froze- dear God he was between her legs. Her soaked jeans molded tightly to her skin, outlining her perfect thighs that were on either side of him and he bit his lip to hold back a groan.

But as soon as she started running her hands through his hair, he melted into heaven. His body stopped listening to his mind and relaxed into her embrace. He felt cold as she stopped touching him and his mind screamed at him to get off of her before she got mad but he argued right back with it that since he was crippled, he might as well take advantage of it. When he regained the use of his legs, Max would stop pitying him. After all, she was only here because she felt guilty about how he'd gotten hurt protecting her. This was his last change to be close to her.

She'd wrapped her arms around him and held onto him and nothing felt more right and perfect that he did in that moment, even with the freezing water raining over their half naked bodies.

He didn't count the minutes as they passed so he had no idea when Max finally brought herself to get up and turn off the water. She'd walked out of the bathroom without a single word and came back wearing the same shirt as she had earlier and a pair of his jeans that she rolled up at the bottom to accommodate for her shorter height.

"Hope you don't mind." She muttered, referring to his pants she was wearing. She put a stack of clean clothes on the toilet seat and helped drag him out of the shower. "I uh...bang on the wall or something when you're done..." She practically fled from the bathroom, leaving him to struggle with getting dressed himself. His legs hadn't wanted to be shoved into the fresh boxers or pants and he'd almost smacked his head on several things trying to maneuver them on. Go figure she could undress him but couldn't help him put his clothes back on. He did have to admit that it felt wonderful having his skin and hair clean again though.

Banging on the wall, Max came back in and made a half-hearted joke about getting him a wheelchair so she didn't have to drag his ass everywhere but he could hear in her tone that her spirit wasn't into the remark so he let it drop without a reply.

Ever since then she'd been distant from him and he often caught her staring into space, biting on her pen cap.

Things had been going so well too. She made him feel like he was still worth something and that his life wasn't ruined - that it could be salvaged one day. But now he wasn't sure if he wanted to salvage it. Not if it meant she was going to leave as soon as he was fine on his own again.

She was sitting against his wall, her laptop in her lap and several papers scattered around her. Her head was dropped forward against her chest, her eyelids closed and he supposed her infamous shark DNA had finally allowed her to rest.

He watched her sleep for a few minutes before making up his mind. He needed to be close to her. He needed to feel her comforting body heat and hear her hearts rhythm close to him.

Leaning off the side of the couch, he braced his hands on the floor and slowly inched himself forward, flinching at the sound as one of his knees fell off the couch with a soft thud. His green eyes darted to Max's sleeping form to let out a breath of relief that she remained asleep. He slowly, carefully, pulled himself forward until both legs had fallen softly to the floor and failed to wake Max up.

Thankfully, his living room wasn't that wide and he used his elbows to crawl forward, almost like he had back in training at Manticore when they made them crawl under barbed wire in the mud. Except back then he'd had use of his legs so this had been much easier and hadn't made him feel like a seal.

His legs dragged uselessly behind him as he eased up beside Max and tilted his head to look up at her, and how beautiful she was as her dark brown hair hung in a curtain over her porcelain face and full lips.

Deciding to press his luck since he'd made it over here without waking her, he pushed her laptop off of her legs, hoisting himself up so he could wrap his arms around her lithe waist and laid his head on her lap as a pillow.

She'd probably beat him senseless when she woke up, but right now he didn't care. He could feel her breathing, her stomach moving with her chest as it rose and fell with each breath and the scent of her fabric softener, although he didn't know where she found it in Terminal City to use with her laundry.

He let her body warmth lull him to sleep- damn the consequences when he woke up.


	4. It Had To Be You

Chapter 4: It Had To Be You

Max stirred, realizing with a jolt that she had fallen asleep. She jerked awake and quickly scanned the apartment for Alec, her eyes lingering on the couch where he last was. A few papers still laid there but no Alec.

He must have just gone out for coffee or something. Then Max remembered as if she couldn't believe it had slipped her memory again, he couldn't have gone anywhere - he couldn't walk. Duh. She hoped he got better because she would never get used to this. Her mind just couldn't seem to wrap itself around the fact that lively, bubbly, energetic Alec couldn't move anywhere by himself.

And yet he had somehow. Her senses finally registered a second heartbeat close to hers and she looked down to see him literally in her lap. His arms were loose around her, as if he had been holding her around the waist before he'd fallen asleep and his head was turned into her hip so she could see his closed eyelashes and the freckles on his nose.

Gently she soothed his bangs away from his forehead, being careful to not wake him. Go figure, she'd spent all this effort trying to keep herself from him so she wouldn't take advantage of the crippled transgenic that she had fallen in love with and he found a way to shove his way into her attention anyways. Same old Alec.

Same old Alec. It had a ring to it that made her smile. She'd been afraid- terrified, that this accident would change him for the worse and he'd be a completely different person. While it had indeed changed him for a few days directly afterwards, she was genuinely happy to see his old remarks, habits, and expressions coming back to surface almost as if his personality was refusing to be buried.

It had certainly changed her. She looked down at his sleeping form and warmth swelled inside of her. Defiantly changed her for the better.

She ran her fingers through his hair and heard him sigh contentedly in his sleep, making her pause her movement to make sure he didn't wake up. Why should she be afraid of him waking up though? He had been the one to crawl over here and decide to use her as a human pillow. Oh yeah, because she was Max Guevara, the transgenic girl who always danced around her feelings and she'd be humiliated if he woke up to find her tenderly petting him instead of kicking him off of her so she could get back to work.

But why had he crawled over here in the first place? Sure she hadn't been that far from the couch, but without the use of your legs the distance would cause quite a bit of strain. Maybe he needed her. Maybe this still wasn't entirely her old Alec and pieces of the new, scared and wounded Alec were still filtering through and mingling with his old personality. She had never known Alec to be the type that needed comfort, but maybe that was because she never toke the time to question why he always used to bounce around from girl to girl every night.

Once he healed, would that change? Would he go back to his old ways once he could strut around to all the girls in Terminal City? Did he only need her now because she was here and he couldn't move to find someone else? Once his legs could move again, maybe he'd use them to walk out of her life forever, finally, like he had been threatening to do all along.

She didn't know why he hadn't left yet, after all, it's not like she hadn't been pushing him away all this time.

The thought of him leaving now was even more unbearable than it was before, and Max selfishly wished they could stay like this forever. It was unfair, but she'd rather he could never walk again and stayed here with her forever than for him to be able to leave her.

She quickly scolded herself for her thoughts and felt ashamed of them inside.

Max slowly slouched down the wall, trying to be careful to not disturb him. She didn't know how easily he woke up and now wouldn't be a good time to find out. Laying on the floor beside him now, she nestled closer under his arms that still hung around her loosely. Their noses touched and she could feel his breath on her lips with an overwhelming desire to kiss him.

She bit her bottom lip resisting the temptation. There was always a chance that he'd never even wake. She could get her heart-fluttering satisfaction and then they could go on like nothing had changed between them once he woke up.

But then there was the chance it'd wake him, or worse, he'd open his eyes mid-kiss at the contact and shove her away. There would be no turning back from laying something like this out in the open. She'd faced death at the hands of Renfro, White, random muggers with guns, and fought countless armed guards and familiars...but she'd faced them bravely without fear. And now something as simple as kissing a man terrified her.

It wasn't the act of kissing him that scared her. Nothing in her mind hinted that it'd be anything less than the most wonderful thing she would ever feel in her life. But it was the after-effects. It was the idea of Alec being gone from her side forever afterwards and never looking at her the same way.

She toke a deep breath and turned her head to face the floor so she couldn't look at those beautiful lips of his. Instead she could now feel his warm breath ghosting over her ear and she wasn't sure which was worse as a pleasurable tingle ran down her spine.

Horror hit her for a moment as she realized the similarities between right now and the last time she had been this close to Alec. Except this time they weren't laying in a flooded basement and Alec didn't have a giant piece of wood impaled through his body. But his arms were still limp around her and his eyes closed. And her heart was still hammering madly in her chest but for different reasons.

She bit her bottom lip harder to stop herself from groaning in frustration. This had to end. He looked so sweet and peaceful sleeping but she couldn't stay like this any longer or she might do something that they'd both regret.

Max sat up quickly and Alec's arm slid off her with a thud as he woke up with a gasp, his green eyes flashing open in alarm and then freezing when they locked onto her chocolate ones like a deer in headlights.

"Morning sunshine." Max flicked his nose to try and seem casual and tried her best to keep her breathing and voice even. "Have a good cat nap."

Alec yawned and scratched the back of his neck where his barcode was imprinted. "Depends. Did you?"

Way too good of a cat nap...Max thought bitterly.

"How'd you get over here Alec?"

He looked around in mock surprise as if he didn't know how he ended up in his current location. "Oh hey, I'm on the floor. Must have just fallen asleep. Sorry 'bout that."

"Yeah right, I don't suppose your legs are working again then?" She huffed.

He looked down at his limp limbs and didn't answer her which answered her question in his silence.

"Yeah. Didn't think so. So how'd you get over here?"

"Crawled like a freakin useless baby seal, how else do you think?" His tone had lost its humor and didn't hold a hint of sarcasm. The way he set his jaw and looked away told Max that once again she'd gone too far and now the real Alec was hiding behind this broken shell of a soldier once again because she'd been too careless with her words.

The old Alec would have brushed off her question with a sassy comeback or a joke. She still wasn't used to learning how to handle this new Alec.

She didn't want to get used to this new Alec. She wanted her old one back. Laughing and joking and pushing each other around like the good old days that seemed so far away now and she'd given anything to have back. If she could go back in time she wouldn't have yelled at him as much, she would have taken advantage of every second that he bounced around her office and cherished every single one of his snide comments. She would have told him that she didn't want him to just pretend to be with her for Logan's sake. She wanted to be with him for real, for no one but themselves.

But they always say you never know what you have until it's too late. Whoever said that didn't know how terribly right they were.

"Alec, I-"

"Don't. Just don't Max." He cut her off, not wanting to hear her apologies or reasoning. She was partially glad; after all, what kind of apology could she give him? His life and he knew it had practically been thrown away when he protected her. Not all the 'I'm so sorries' in the world could make that better.

She ran her fingers through her hair and settled for changing the subject.

"I'm going to go make some food. Is there anything particular you want?"

Alec simply shook his head, his eyes never leaving the spot on the worn carpet that he was fixated with.

"Do you need help getting back to the couch?"

"Nah, I'll just stay here."

Max paused for a moment. "Was that sarcasm?"

"No."

"Oh. Well, okay then." Max stood up, leaving the tense conversation behind her as she headed into Alec's kitchen area. If you could consider it a kitchen area. It was still a part of the living room, just separated by a long counter and the change in flooring from tan carpet to yellow tiles.

She rummaged through his cabinets and fridge, deciding that she needed to somehow get out and get Alec some real groceries. He had a box of saltines, couple of bags of chips and cheetos, a package of hot dogs and a small bag of bread. Hot dog sandwiches it was.

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Alec looked up from his spot on the floor to watch Max in the kitchen. He wished her good luck finding something to eat, knowing he had close to nothing. The food runs had been sparse lately and he found it his responsibility to keep the other citizens of Terminal City fed before him, so he usually toke less food than they handed out.

So he might horde the cheetos though. Can't blame a guy, he wasn't perfect after all. Especially not right now.

It was getting harder and harder to keep up the charade of how he used to be and keep his depression from showing. He hid it well for Max's benefit. She didn't have to be here helping him, but she was. And the last thing he wanted to do was show her how weak he was and scare her away because he knew she didn't know how to deal with her own emotions, much less anyone elses.

And now he'd cracked and let his mask slip. She'd only run away to the kitchen, but none the less, she ran away when she didn't know what to say to him anymore. That was just how Max was. When it came to a physical fight she'd give it her all and punch and kick like her life depended on it- which, usually it did. But whenever it came down to an emotional battle, it was like she didn't see the point in wasting the effort. She'd just give up and walk away when it got too hard for her to handle.

He couldn't say he blamed her for it right now either. Who really wanted to waste their time on a lost cause when they had an entire city to take care of? He didn't even know why she had stuck around this long. Chances were that as soon as he could walk again and take care of himself she'd never spend two seconds in the same room as him again. Hell, he was starting to doubt his transgenic healing abilities and wondered if he was ever going to heal. If that was the case, how long would it take for her to get tired of him and just leave anyways?

"Here you go." Max walked back over to him and handed him a hot dog wrapped in between two slices of white bread. For a second his eyes lingered on her legs that she was standing on and using to walk around wherever she wanted and he felt envious of her.

So much for being free from Manticore's imprisonment. He was more trapped now than he had ever been. Though, he supposed to should be thankful this hadn't happened while he was back at Manticore. They wouldn't have been patient and caring like Max and the others here. They would have labeled him defective and useless and euthanized him.

Though, maybe that would have been kinder if someone would just put him out of his misery instead of sitting here day after day suffering.

He toke a deep breath. It'd hurt to ask. It'd hurt to know if the answer was yes but he felt like he had to do it. For the better of Terminal City. For the better of Max. He couldn't have her wasting away here with him and neglecting Terminal City. It wasn't fair to anyone.

"Max." He cleared his throat. The words felt harder to get out now that he was actually trying to speak them out loud and her large doe-like eyes were on him, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Alec, what is it?" She seemed to see him struggling with his words and tentatively put a hand on his leg. An act that would have been comforting if he had been able to feel it. It was that simple gesture that forced him to finish his thoughts.

"If I asked you do to something...would you do it? No matter what?"

Max answered hesitantly. "Of course... anything."

"Kill me."

Max blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Kill me Max. I can't do it myself. I can't even move to reach anything to-"

"Are you fucking serious?" She cut him off and her nails were digging into the jeans of his pants although he couldn't feel it, not even slightly.

"Max, I'm a liability now."

"No."

"You said-"

"No." She cut him off again. "I'm a liar then. Anything but that Alec. Anything but that. Do you have any idea how hard everyone worked to keep you alive through this? And you want to just throw that away? No. And if I ever even think that you're thinking about this again, I'm never letting you out of my sight again. Ever. Say hello to showering with me for the rest of your life. End of discussion"

He bit his bottom lip and suppressed a groan. "Don't tempt me." He tried to joke but Max had no idea how badly he wanted to find a rope and try to hang himself now, not to try and kill himself but to insure keeping her by his side. And that promise for life long showers with Max was hard to resist.

She punched him softly on the shoulder. "Don't be a jerk."

"Aw but Maxie, you know how good I am at it."

Neither of them smiled and looked away at the same time. Alec felt guilty about all the trouble everyone had gone through because of him and while he didn't want to waste it, it didn't change the way he felt. His expiration date was up but no one had realized it yet except for him.

He should have known better than to ask something like that of Max though, especially since he was probably the only one that knew what she had to do to his twin brother Ben. But it had been worth a shot. If he was going to go out, he'd rather someone he loved was the one that pulled the trigger and kissed him with a bullet.

He snuck a glance at her. The sun streaming through the window was highlighting her long brown hair that cascaded down her back and over her shoulders. Her eyelids were lowered as she picked at a spot on the carpet with her small hands. The expression on her face was carefully blank so he had no idea of reading her right now to tell how she was feeling and he sighed, looking away again.

If she wanted to drop the subject he was fine with it. At least she didn't literally leave the room this time. She'd only run away inside of her own mind.

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The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Every day Max sat by helplessly and watched Alec fall farther into the pit of despair that he had dug for himself. When before she had been hopeful that his old personality was resurfacing and trying to be optimistic she was now positive that it had all been just an act. Slowly Alec dropped the act, not even bothering to smile most days. He'd just stare off into space, his green eyes dull and unamused at anything as if he was already dead inside.

She still worked in his apartment with him. Curled up on the edge of the couch or against the wall with her paperwork stacked around her and beeper constantly going off. She hated to admit it, but she no longer trusted Alec to be left alone. He hadn't asked twice for her to end it all for him, but she could tell it was still on his mind. And loosing Alec for good wasn't a risk she was willing to take.

She had lost Ben by her own hands and his insanity. She watched the light go out of the green eyes that were identical to the man she'd found herself falling in love with and she couldn't go through that pain again. That pain that would be fifty- a hundred times worse because it would leave a gaping hole in her heart that no one in her life would ever be able to fill.

No one else even remotely compared to Alec. When he would walk into a room everyone around him would immediately pale in the contrast of his bright charisma and the life and energy he'd spark wherever he went.

She just needed to stay by him and stay strong and help him through this. She was positive that his body would finish healing one day. She just hoped that day was soon because they were both wearing down and she didn't know how much more either of them could take.

So Joshua or Luke usually brought her paperwork to her so she never had to leave Alec alone. Sometimes Dalton when they were too busy and they of course alternated bringing them food. Alec was still coordinating the supply runs but she could tell that his irritation was turning into anger that he couldn't accompany them on the actual runs and all he could do was organize them.

Alec was so lively, that even if he never toke his own life, he was slowly dying on the inside anyways not being able to move. He was beyond stir-crazy and restless. And quite frankly, so was she.

It wasn't just not being able to run around like she used to because she had to- no, wanted to constantly be around Alec to keep an eye on him. It was being so damned close to him all the time. The tension was multiplying by the day and she was just waiting for her heart to finally give in and burst from the constant accelerated speed it was beating.

She didn't have to help him shower anymore. She didn't ask how he managed, but she'd help him into the bathroom and he'd take over from there himself. Most likely using his 'baby seal' impersonation that he hated so much to get in and out of his clothes and just sitting in the shower. It was better than nothing though.

Alec hadn't stopped working out either. Max would help him but sitting on his useless legs while he did sit ups or she'd help him stand so he could do pull ups from a broken water pipe that Mole had attached to the ceiling for that purpose. And while his upper body was resting from its work out Max would help lift and bend his legs to keep them in shape. Neither of them ever spoke to each other during this time. There was nothing to say that wouldn't be too painful or awkward to say out loud.

Max spent the nights in his apartment too. For awhile he slept on the couch and tried to convince her to take his bed but she'd just stay on the floor in the living room instead. Most nights she didn't even sleep anyways. She'd just stay awake and watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest and admire how peaceful he looked. After a month she still wasn't used to watching his fingers and arms twitch in his dreams but never his lower body half.

She remembered the first time she watched Alec sleep when he hadn't fallen asleep on her desk, drooling all over her papers. They had both needed a day off but she had forgotten to get his signature on one last thing before she turned in so she went over to his apartment. It was exactly as it was now except Alec was in the bed of his own free will and curled on his side with his legs and arms twitching and pawing at the sheets like a dog when it has a dream about chasing something. Then he started twitching his nose and she couldn't contain herself from laughing and waking him up.

Now he was napping on his worn couch and looked too still. Part of her just wanted to shake him back awake but she couldn't bring herself to touch him. Her guard was up higher than ever. The last thing she wanted to do was take advantage of him while he couldn't even get away from her if he wanted to.

She gentle laid her hand on his shoulder regardless, needing to ask his opinion on heating now that the weather was starting to cool off.

Shaking him gently his eyes shot open and she gasped as she felt the wind get knocked out of her as something hit her in her stomach. Wincing she smacked him on the shoulder.

"Don't do that!"

"Don't do what? And don't wake me like that then." He complained back.

"Don't-" She paused and looked at where both of his arms were now being used to prop himself up on the couch to look at her. Her eyes traveled downwards and widened when she saw one of his legs had fallen off the couch.

"Alec...I think you just kicked me." She whispered once she managed to find her voice again.

He didn't roll his eyes or glare at her, but just looked at her with a completely unamused look on his face. "That's not even funny Max. Not even a little bit."

She furrowed her brows. She hadn't shaken him hard enough to move him, she'd barely touched him. And he certainly hadn't punched her in the stomach. But wouldn't he know before her if he had feeling back in his own legs? She looked back and forth between his irritated expression and his legs before smacking him hard on one of them.

"OW what the hell Max?"

She raised both her eyebrows just staring at him as his eyes widened as well, looking back and forth between her and his legs.

"Holy shit...I felt that..."

End chapter 4

Sorry this chapter was so short. I've been really busy lately and I'm suffering massive writer's block with this story but felt bad I hadn't updated in so long so I figured something was better than nothing.


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